TL;DR: My bro made a meme. I used to be hot and I want to get into the best shape of my life with sustainable habits.
Hey Everyone! I am staying with my fam due to current world events and the ability to work remotely. My little bro made this meme of me (I added the motivation to work out, and saved it as my phone screen to motivate/shame me into staying accountable, my bro is a sweet person and he wasn't trying to be mean). He made it as a joke and but I'll be honest, I was crying on the inside, and later on the outside. I do not look good! I had gained so much weight, and I hate it.
Let me provide some background:
Currently I am 25, 5'6, I estimate I'm about 155lb. My goal weight is around 130, though I go by how I look more than anything.
Current measurements are (in inches):
Shoulders: 41, Bust: 36.5, Underbust: 31, Waist: 28.5, Hips: 39.5, Arms: 13, upper thighs: 24 thighs above knee: 16.5, calves: 14.5.
My goal measurements by October 2020:
26" waist, 36" hips, 10" arms, thighs: 22", above knee: 15", calves: 13"
I went keto (dairy) last fall and then became fully vegan. I had lost a lot of weight and was on a good trajectory. I could have been working out more, and my goal was to focus on that, then the pandemic occurred and I've been away from my gym and regular schedule. But I am grateful I get to work remotely and save money by being with family. I've always struggled with my weight. In my culture, its common for people to fat shame, which sucks. I was a chubby kid and even worse when puberty hit. At 16 I had my glow up – I changed my body dramatically. I was finally hot and I rode this hot wave well into my mid twenties. I'm 5'6 and went from 180 to 130 lb. It was an insane transformation – but it wasn't sustainable nor healthy. I lost most of the weight in 4 months, I would work out for 1-2 hours a day, severely restrict calories (1000-1200 every day, incl work out days which were every day unless I had my period), not to mention I was a competitive dancer and would have dance classes 2x a week. I also would force myself to throw up on binge days (ie friends bday, my bday, big fam dinner). It was very unhealthy, but I looked good, so I saw no issue with it. While I changed my calories a bit , I pretty much stayed consistent with this until university. In university, I had less time to work out (though I still did most days) so I just ate less. Ended up with anemia, severe fatigue and a bunch of bullshit. But, was hot.
At 21 I started implementing more weights and building more muscle mass. I ate a bit more, but still I would track strictly. This all went downhill at 22, when I broke my leg in an accident. I was in a boot cast for 5 months, and then had a painful road to recovery. Its been a few years since then, but sadly I haven't taken much weight off. I feel really sad. I feel like I'm wasting my youth by being in a body I hate. I make strides sometimes, like when I went keto and vegan and was strict, but I always fall off. I lack accountability, so I am going to take responsibility. I've been doing a lot of work on my mental health during this time, and thankfully that has really helped me out. I understand the emotions behind why I binge eat, it also helped me learn that I need to be more comfortable with being vulnerable and being accountable. I also need to do things consistently that work for me, and make sure the habits are sustainable. Most of all – I want to be hot again, I want to be hot for me because I know what my body can achieve. I want to accomplish! My goals are as follows:
- Take measurements every week, I track them in an app called Remeasure. Its a great tool, and it shows you comparisons over time. I have a really shit relationship with 'weight' it gives me anxiety to see a scale. I am terrified someone will make me step on it and I will be humiliated. I felt this way at 180 and at 130. But thats okay, I can measure and see results.
- Eat 1400-1500 calories a day, I am fully plant based and don't eat many processed foods, however being at home during pandemic I'v been gorging myself on white breads, pasta and SUGAR – not good for me! I will supplement more veggies and healthy seeds and whole grains in place of white pasta. Sub sugar for monkfruit and real fruits, reduce the maple syrup intake on oats.
- Stick to a workout regime that works for me. I love yoga, I do it 2x a day. I will continue this and up my sessions to 30 mins each. I hate cardio, but it works. I will put together a bomb playlist (suggestions are welcome!) and commit myself to the elliptical 5x/week for 20 mins (it may be low now, but I need to start somewhere and create SMART goals) I also will explore dancing again. I will lift/use resistance/target muscles 3x/week. I have retained many exercises from my fitter days that I will implement. There will be rest days every other day, to allow my muscles to recover.
- Post on lose-it weekly with my progress. I don't know too much about progress threads (an example would be great) but I am going to do this to stay accountable.
- Continue to be reflective and work on other aspects of health. While my physical body is my focus, I don't neglect my emotional and mental wellbeing. Yoga, meditation and journalling are helping me achieve a holistic sense of wellbeing.
For those who took the time to read, thank you so much. I appreciate any suggestions, comments and encouragement. I may create an instagram to follow my progress, haven't decided yet. Even if no one reads this, at least I've put it out there. Hope the universe sees my intention and helps me achieve my goals.